Ambitious and driven, James is following his dreams of working behind the scenes on big theatre and circus shows. But as a young carer, they could easily have remained just that and he hopes his story will inspire other young carers to make the most of their interests and passions.
James was seven when caring became part of everyday life, keeping things going as his mum’s health deteriorated after she caught swine flu, which triggered ME and fibromyalgia. In addition, she also developed mental health issues including anxiety, depression, bipolar type 2 and borderline personality disorder.
But he only realised three years later that by cooking, cleaning, looking after his younger brother, and managing his mum’s medication, he was a young carer when he heard his mum talking to another parent at school.
Support arrived initially from the Benjamin Foundation before James joined Caring Together’s Norfolk Young Carers Forum (NYCF).
James said: “From that, it was my goal to make sure other young carers didn’t find themselves in a position where they didn’t know they were a young carer.”
Through NYCF, he helped set up the Carer Friendly Tick Award, aimed at getting schools and colleges to recognise and support young carers, with his school, Wymondham High Academy, being one of the first recipients.
The school set up a young carers group, with James going back to talk to members while at university, as well as giving a teacher training presentation on young carers, which enabled 10 further young carers to be identified andsupported.
His campaigning even took him on to ITV national news, where he spoke about young carers and the importance of recognising them.
For James, school offered “an escape” from his caring role, but he admitted trying to do homework or revise was difficult.
He added: “There were several times where my mum’s had a fall. I’ve been woken up in the middle of the night, and then she has ended up collapsing and I’ve had to give her CPR.
“The most recent time I would have been 18. I wasn’t even living at home at that point. Mum and I had had a falling out and I’d moved in with my nan.
“I drove over as a learner in the middle of the night with my nan because my brother had called me saying he needed help.
“That was around the peak of where I was looking after her. She also went through alcohol addiction, so I was supporting her through that.”
But James was also ambitious to carve out a career by gaining a degree, so he followed is heart by studying technical theatre at Falmouth University.
He said: “I found this passion for the backstage world of theatre that I just couldn’t shake. I was fascinated with what the guys in the box behind us were doing at school plays.
“Also, when my mum was going through her alcohol addiction, she decided to join a church. I was never really that interested, but I joined the youth ministry and they had a band. I couldn’t play any instruments, so they put me on the sound desk and I’ve never looked back.”
James told the university from the off that he was a young carer and may need to leave at short notice to deal with emergencies. They gave him a parking permit so he could keep his car on campus, and he kept a bag ready in case he had to make a dash back to Norfolk from Cornwall.
After earning a 2:1 degree, James headed back to his nan’s home, where he took on further caring responsibilities as she had developed vascular dementia following a stroke while he was at university.
But he soon got a call for his first job working as a sound technician and from there, he began touring as a sound engineer with the Circus of Horrors and Circus Extreme. On a second tour with Circus Extreme, he became head of sound and then deputy technical manager.
Now 23, James is currently Head of Sound on the Silence of the Lambs UK and Ireland tour. Life on the road has not removed his caring responsibilities entirely. There are still times when he goes home, and he said the prospect of his brother now leaving for Aberystwyth University feels daunting. However, James said: “My mum and my nan don’t want either of us to not do it. They’ve been very supportive for us to go and achieve these things.”
For James, caring gave him resilience, responsibility and empathy, but it also taught him that young carers need space to build their own lives – and that is his message to other young carers considering where their future lies.
“To achieve what you want to achieve, you have to be selfish sometimes,” he said. “It’s not easy, but it’s possible and that makes you want it more.”
Reflecting on his graduation, James understood just how far he had come.
He said: “You become proud of yourself for doing it. You can look at other people there and know they haven’t had to deal with the stuff that you’ve had to, but you’re still standing side by side with them. It’s an amazing feeling.
“You cannot live your life just doing stuff for other people. Even if it’s taking a couple of days to do something for you, life gets easier when you do that.”
